My cat gives me a boner
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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