Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
