i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You ate ashes out of my bong
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
