sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Where did you get a picture of my penis
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
