I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
