White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
