If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
