I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
