I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
