i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
40s are totally the cure
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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