I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
