I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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