i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
