I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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