Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize