love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
