Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize