ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
