More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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