Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
