Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
