maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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