I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I am available for nakedness
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
