420 ftw
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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