yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
