She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize