She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
