I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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