Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize