Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
