I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
