You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
