It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
no. you can't hotbox the world.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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