I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
