My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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