Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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