Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
love makes seman taste better
she smelled like a LAN party
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
