i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
