Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize