if only i could text you this smell
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
A+ Viking dick
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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