I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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