do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
