Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
is that a dick in a sweater?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You ruined the universe
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
