Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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