Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
