i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
