i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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