I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
