Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
