shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
