Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
