Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
