Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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