i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
