Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize